


our inevitability

by borage (haechansheaven)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Introspection, M/M, Miya Atsumu-centric, Pining, Post-Time Skip, Snapshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26203165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haechansheaven/pseuds/borage
Summary: You see, there's something satisfying in making something out of nothing, and Atsumu has become obsessed with that sort of thing. No one around him understands him the way he wants to be understood until Shouyou Hinata returns from across an ocean, unconsciously fulfilling an inevitability that Atsumu declared five years prior.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Kudos: 68





	our inevitability

**nulla. the beginning.**

Atsumu spends his Sunday nights staring into the sky and connecting stars he pretends he can see into constellations. It's an attempt to fill up empty space more than anything else, and it's a habit that carries over into the future, even when Osamu isn't there to attach stories to names that Atsumu attaches to linear patterns etched into the sky.

You see, there's something satisfying in making something out of nothing, and Atsumu has become obsessed with that sort of thing. No one around him understands him the way he wants to be understood until Shouyou Hinata returns from across an ocean, unconsciously fulfilling an inevitability that Atsumu declared five years prior.

He watches Atsumu point to a starless sky from the side while the city below them murmurs secrets that neither of them can decipher. These are their moments, bits and pieces of the time they share together staring at stars hidden behind light pollution and making promises without ever speaking the words out loud.

**i. the inevitable**

He first asks if Shouyou remembers the promise he made in passing, as he's walking out of the locker room and Koutarou is filling the silence with laughter and stories that only two people can remember with a fondness, though every person can listen to and feel the excitement. Atsumu asks again, on the sidewalk outside of a bar, and Shouyou looks up at him with wonder in his eyes before he admits, "No, not really."

Reality is far from what Atsumu wants and, even if their reunion was written in the stars, it doesn't mean that both remember it the same.

"All I can remember from those days is wanting to play volleyball again and again and again," Shouyou murmurs, hands hidden in the pockets of his jacket. "And thinking that I finally made it."

In this moment, Atsumu realizes that everything he knows about Shouyou has been narrative written in his own mind—a story of his own creation. The reality is that the similarities between what he knows of the real Shouyou and of the Shouyou that occupies his mind are far and few between. It's the sort of reality that cuts deep and sudden, and so sharp that he's breathless for a second, or maybe ten.

There's a long stretch of years that are blank slates that Atsumu has filled in on his own while waiting for the real thing. As time passed, and the emptiness stretched on, those false narratives have made themselves a permanent home in Atsumu's mind. He realizes that this is his opportunity to fill those gaps and fix those mistakes.

There are parts of the story that Atsumu is confident in: Shouyou was new to volleyball when they first met, Shouyou wasn’t at his best when they first met, and Shouyou's opportunities to grow were endless. He glances things here and there from stories Koutarou tells and biting remarks that flow easily from Tobio's mouth like it's second nature. They know sides to Shouyou that Atsumu wants equal ownership of, though his goal is something _more_.

Atsumu wants to know more of the Shouyou that clawed his way to center court, and the boy that turned into a man biking over mountains and falling asleep at his desk placed in the center of the classroom. All the layers and pieces and fragments that came together to form Shouyou Hinata are things that Atsumu would like to hold in his hands and memorize every facet of.

"I told you that I'd set for you one day," Atsumu says to the city, to the world, to Shouyou.

"Huh." Smiling, Shouyou takes his words at face value. "Maybe you can see the future, then?"

**ii. the memory**

A tall, tall wall stands before Atsumu. It speaks with a sharp lack of nonsense and a reliability that he could only hope to reign in and make his own. They have a reunion of sorts in the hallway, and Atsumu falls to his hands and knees in his own sort of misery as the conversation around him moves at a speed that he can't be bothered to keep up with. It flows at kilometres per second, and Atsumu thinks, _is this my new reality_?

There is a booth outside of the gymnasium, just near an entrance, where Osamu will watch Atsumu and his collection of monsters he holds by the collar of their jerseys. This is a moment he's been waiting for; five years spent restlessly to become the protagonist of a story that the world will watch. In the end, though, Atsumu feels like a bystander to his own moment.

All eyes, all hearts, all minds, are focused on a moment that had been written in the stars farther in the past than Atsumu knew.

Tobio Kageyama stands across the net with a grin and a ferocity that never faded, but seems a little brighter, and Shouyou Hinata shines like a supernova, the world unable to look away as he makes his mark and calls forth others to make dreams as loud and as brazen and as beautiful as his. Even Atsumu, who feels bitter at having his own starring role stolen from his very hands, can't help but stare and watch in awe as the stars roll out a red carpet for two people who have taken the destinies life handed to them and made them into their own.

And, that's right, Atsumu has his own life and own path to control, and this is simply a moment of his that is meant to occur in passing. So he straightens his back and remembers what he was taught— _Who needs memories?_ —before looking up at the lights and accepting his role, no matter how minor.

When all things are said and done, and his jersey is half-off, hanging around his neck, Atsumu thinks that it doesn't matter what happened today, and it doesn't matter what people saw. In the end, this is his story, his book, and he'll bind it neatly with a leather cover and coat the edges in gold and look back on it in the future with pride.

These days have come on the heels of practice and practice and practice. People tell him that his pride is worthless, and Atsumu wants to tell them that it isn't pride. Rather, it's a sureness born from practice, patience, and recognition of his self-worth. The world can see him as it wishes. Atsumu will continue to march forward to the beat of his own drum.

**iii. the change**

Shouyou is gone as quickly as he arrives. It's a fanfare in both directions, like consecutive supernovas, too close together to one another. A disturbance, it sets the world aflame and leaves Atsumu stranded on the lone island of a flooded planet. Shouyou's things are packed in suitcases and bags and boxes, and Atsumu turns his head when Koutarou shrugs and admits that he saw this coming.

"You liked it there in the end, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Shouyou says, handing a hanging fern to Shugo, "I miss it. And it just feels right to go back. I'm thankful that Romero put in a good word for me, so... It'd be pretty rude to not go, too, I guess is what I'm trying to say."

Sometimes, Shouyou talks in sentences that don't sound complete. They're a tangle of half-finished lines that make sense independent of one another, though once split up and stitched together, all meaning is lost. Atsumu understands him, anyways. He understands the way that Shouyou's heart is pulled towards Brazil and the life that awaits him there, that Japan will always be his home in the end, and that his role in Atsumu's story is not yet finished.

"Are you sure I can take all this?" Adriah asks, hefting the box of pots and pans into the air.

"I'm sure. I can't afford to bring too much with me, so... The cost of moving abroad with so many things adds up way too quickly..." Shouyou's laugh is sheepish, arms stretched out in front of him as he glances out a window, to a city skyline that will no longer be his to wake up to. "Just don't let the plant die. It was a gift from my younger sister."

Goodbyes in Atsumu's life, so far, have been of the temporary kind, and he chooses to voice this one as another pause in life, rather than a permanent sort of change, content to tuck posters under his arm that Shouyou hands him and watch as the apartment becomes an empty shell instead of a place full of life.

The future that he foresaw all those years ago has come to fruition in its own sort of way. Atsumu wants _more_. No matter how much life is willing to give him, Atsumu will _always_ want more. He's insatiable in his chase for his dreams in the same sort of way those around him are. His fingers dig into the dirt, and he pulls his body up a mountain, and the world watches and waits for him to finally reach the top.

Shouyou Hinata comes as fast as he leaves, a residual whirlwind bringing all those left behind together. It's why they're all here in a barren apartment, collecting odds and ends that will be left behind for yet another adventure across an ocean. At this moment, yet another chapter ends.

**iv. the reunion**

National stages are overwhelming in the best sort of way. Atsumu relishes the way that the world watches them, the heaviness on his shoulders, and watching the backs of those he's learned to trust stand on the court. Life is a war; a compilation of battles that all add up to something. A dream, a wish, a creation.

This _was_ Atsumu's.

These days, his something stands on the court, shoulders strong, carrying the weight of all the dreams he's brought to life with his own hands. Destiny stands on its hands with its feet in the air and walks circles around hardships. Shouyou grasps them and forces them to play the game that he's decided on.

Atsumu dances to the beat of the song that Shouyou sings because this is part two of their fate. It's nothing but a moment, so he holds onto it tightly while he can. This is their fate: Distance with moments interspersed through time. It's what makes moments special, even if they're quiet nights standing outside of a bar two nights before Shouyou flies across the ocean, again, to leave Atsumu behind, again.

There are memories, of Shouyou perched on the edge of his bed as Atsumu points out the window and repeats the stories that Osamu wrote for constellations when they were twelve and figured that nothing in the world mattered but them and their dreams. Outside a bar, with the world's eyes on them, the most Atsumu can do is stare beyond the city lights and listen to Shouyou talk about everything that's happened since the last time they met, and then some.

"It was pretty great to see Natsu, though. Being away from home for so long makes changes seem more prevalent, you know?" A free hand waves around in a care-free sort of way that's indicative of the change that has happened through the current of time. He looks at Atsumu with a gaze full of expectation that he isn't sure how to meet. "Have I changed?"

There's a moment where Atsumu wants to say _no_ , but that's a lie, and he's never been the best at lying to Shouyou. "Sure. Yer not the only one, though."

"Sure." Shouyou laughs into the silence between them, filling it with warmth. "You've changed, too, Atsumu-san. Not that it's a bad thing."

In the silence and with all the distance, Atsumu can't help but agree. For all the changes in his life, however, he can't help but feel the most gratitude for the one that happens to stand beside him on this summer night.

**v. the future**

At twenty-seven, Atsumu names constellations using stars on a map projected onto his ceiling. His fingers cast shadows, disturbing the image, and when he stretches his hands out, there are stars dancing across his skin. He's not lonely like his brother thought he would be, and he's not sad like the world thought he would be. People wait for him, every day, for his next step.

Who is he to deny them? This is his life, this is the path he's decided to walk down, and the end is far off in the distance.

On his bedside table, his phone rings, a familiar name that he's been chasing after for years appearing on the screen. It's a call back to earth and the reality that cushions his fall day in and day out. The world is calling his name and it's about time he answers.

"Hello?" They're separated by twelve hours, and Atsumu wonders how the sun looked when it rose this morning.

Shouyou laughs, because there's not much he was expecting from Atsumu, anyways. He is the first, and perhaps the last, person, who has no expectations for the life that Atsumu will lead. "The sunrise," he says, gently, "reminded me of you."

"Well, now, isn't that the sweetest compliment anyone could give me."

There is immeasurable distance that Atsumu works to cross with small steps. While Shouyou buries his feet in sand, Atsumu curls under blankets and dreams of Apollo pulling a chariot across the sky, with the sun chained to its wheels. The future calls to both of them, tied together at the very end.

**Author's Note:**

> there is no zero (0) for roman numerals... but some used "nulla" conceptually as the same as zero... so...


End file.
